Slap to the Face

Sometimes life slaps you in the face. Ok, maybe it doesn't. But it definitely slapped me in the face today when the most heartbreaking thing was brought to my attention: I may not see my dog again.
Ok, sorry to be depressing but I can't help it. I need to write about this.
Moxie just turned 13 yesterday. That's really old for a Lab. She's been struggling with her hips for a while now and within the past 6 months she has been having issues with holding her bladder. Two years ago she gave us quite the scare but thankfully she pulled through, though it didn't leave her unscathed. It's been hard to go from her sleeping upstairs with me to not being able to walk up the stairs at all. It's been hard to go from her riding around in the car with me, which is possibly her most favorite thing in the world, to not being able to get in the car. But it's been hardest of all to go from her being able to hear every door open, footstep, and dropping of a crumb, to not even being able to hear us call her name. This whole process of getting older is terrible. It seems so gradual at times until one day you wake up and realize your healthy and happy dog's body is failing her and she may not make it for you to come home in July. It's cruel. And I pray that she can make it. Of course I don't want her to make it if it means she's in pain and miserable but I just don't know what I will do if I don't see that girl again. It will kill me.
Like I said, Slap to the face.